Hebrews 13:14 - "Here we do not have a lasting city, but we are seeking the city which is to come."
I think these verses may at least partially explain my nomadic tendencies... or anyone else's for that matter.
Or maybe that's just a cop out? Do I say that so that I don't have to feel as bad about moving to a new place? Maybe a little bit of both? I think there is definitely a bit of both. Who doesn't come up with ideas or "justifications" about what they're doing with their life? I'm not trying to say it's all bad, or be pessimistic; these are just thoughts popping into my head.
God has been teaching me so much, and really rooting out fear in my life. For so long I have talked a big talk about trusting God, but how much have I really lived it? There are certainly times in my life I can look back on and see how I trusted God, and how of course He was faithful and provided whatever it was I needed. However, God has really opened my eyes recently to see how much I have limited Him with my tiny amount of trust, and huge amount of fear! If I truly believe I have the Holy Spirit living in me (which I do!), and therefore am able to live with the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the grave, then why do I constantly tell myself "I can't", "I could never", "oh not me!"?! I can see how I've sabotaged myself by looking at my own (many!) weaknesses and imperfections, instead of looking at Jesus, and relying on His perfection and strength.
Another way I have let fear control me, is in the fear of failure. I've been so filled with fear that I would make the wrong choice, pick the wrong path, or somehow completely destroy any plans God has for my life. I'm so thankful He is so gracious, and has been showing me how selfish, and prideful that thinking can be in my life. Prideful because I try to think everything depends upon me, instead of Him! That somehow, my created, finite, weak little self can somehow destroy the works of the Creator and Author of everything! Selfish, because then I'm spending so much time thinking about myself, it's disgusting! It's such a huge relief to remember who God really is, and to know Him. I can stop worrying about ruining everything, and walk along the life He has given me, trusting that it is in His hands! Of course that doesn't mean I own my life, and do whatever I want. In fact, it's just the opposite. My life belongs to the One who conquered fear on the cross. "For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God"(Colossians 3:3). Only by letting Him live, in place of me, can I be assured that my steps will be directed, and my mess-ups corrected.
All that to say, I am sooooooooooooooooo excited to announce that God has provided a huge blessing to me in an opportunity to go back to The Home of God's Love in Taiwan! All of the details aren't quite worked out yet, but it's finally happening! :) It's looking like I will head over sometime in November. The length of my stay is still undetermined. It could be anywhere from a couple months, to six months, or who knows? I'm happy and relieved to say that God does!
Prayers please! Comments/questions/thoughts welcomed! Hugs always appreciated!
*That translation really says "vapor" instead of mist, but it basically means the same, and this way it goes with my blog title...and my name ;)
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