a day in the life...

I'm not sure what to say. I just feel like i fit here. I remember feeling this way when I was here before, but being away so long I had convinced myself that it was all in my head. I don't know what it means for my future, but I'm so thankful for the time God has allowed me for now. 

For those of you interested, here is what my day generally looks like:
7:30am- go downstairs, eat breakfast, maybe hold a baby (we have 15 currently)
8:30-9:15ish-feed babies/change diapers
9:30-11ish- play with babies/read books/sing songs/dance
11-11:45ish-feed babies/change diapers/put down for nap time
noon-2pm ish- eat lunch/go for a walk/take a nap/read a book/ hold a crier
2-3ish-feed babies/change diapers
3-5ish-play/read/sing with babies
5-5:30ish-feed babies/put down for nap
6-6:45ish- eat dinner
7-8ish- devotions with all the kids and babies/feed babies

8:15-9ish- finish feeding babies/change diapers/put to bed
10ish-go to bed (although it's 11pm as I'm typing this. I somehow never get right to sleep when I come upstairs)
Of course that doesn't include in between baby snuggling time/puke clean up, all the interaction with the other wonderful helpers here, the laughter, the encouragement, the understanding...sometimes the sarcasm :) Not to mention all the delicious amazing food! I am truly in lack of nothing here*. I am beyond blessed to be here.

Thanks so much for all your love and prayers! I'll try to get pics posted soon.
Because of Jesus

*Ok, so I am lacking people i love that don't live here. However, no matter where I go, I'm always missing someone. Which is one reason Heaven will be so incredibly fabulous!!!

Island Christmas

On Labor day weekend I drove from Nashville, TN (which has been my home for the last 2 years), to Minneapolis, MN.  I've been staying with close friends here, being blessed to spend time with them, and once again being stretched by God.  I've had moments that I seriously questioned what I was thinking when I made that drive, but different circumstances have confirmed to me that God had a reason for this. I'm now incredibly thankful that I have had this experience, and I'm also very thankful that He has provided for my way to Taiwan as well...

As of about 9am this morning, it became official! I will be leaving the States on November 29th, and I will get to experience my 2nd island Christmas :)       (And I will get to AVOID experiencing a Minneapolis winter!!!)

I am once again overwhelmed by the abundant way God has provided.  I am humbled, and ashamed by the doubts and fears that i allow to creep into my thoughts.  And still He is faithful. And still He provides.   If you are reading this, than I'm pretty sure God has used you to provide for me in some way, whether with money, prayer, love, encouragement, or all of the above! Thank you.

I know that my God will supply for all your needs, according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

yayayayayayay!

I want to say thank you thank you thank you to everyone who has been supporting me, and praying for me, and encouraging me! I just got news that what I need for the rest of my plane ticket is on its way! So within the next week or so I should be able to finally purchase my plane ticket, and have an actual leave date! So many exclamation points because I'm so excited! God is so good! I'm so unfaithful, and full of doubt, and He continues to be faithful, and my strength and provider. I will try to have a bit more to say when I post my launch time...until then, be encouraged: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever. Hebrews 5:8

Foolish girl

I've spent a big part of my life trying to avoid being uncomfortable or looking foolish, and it tears me up inside how many opportunities to share the Truth with people I have missed because of it.  God showed me today that it's time for me to be done with the avoidance of looking foolish.  It doesn't mean I'm going to go around doing stupid things for no reason.  It does mean that choices in my life from here on out are going to be based on what God calls me to do, & not based on what I will look like to everyone else.  After all, my life is not my own. I have been bought with a price: the precious, priceless blood of Jesus.  He has ruined me to all else.  

I know I can't do this on my own.  Only through the power of the Holy Spirit is this possible.  Please pray for my sensitivity to the Spirit, and my obedience.  

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints,  and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe." Ephesians 1:18,19

Bond-servant of Christ

In 1 week from tonight I get to visit some family.  The visit is shorter than I had first planned, but i am still so thankful for the blessing of getting to see my parents, and some of my siblings & nieces and nephews! It's just for a few days, and when i say few, i mean i fly in Thursday night, and fly out eaaaaarrrrrly Tuesday morning, but there's a lot of lovin getting squished into those 4ish days!  Including, Lord willing, my newest niece, Penny! 

My sister has not had the easiest pregnancy this time around (number 5!), but the end (beginning!) is finally coming.  She actually went into the hospital to be induced 2 nights ago, but that baby just wasn't quite ready to come yet.  I'm just praising God that both my sister and the baby are so far healthy!  It's kinda funny to me (funny as in ironic, not funny haha. I feel so bad for my sister, because she wants this baby to come so badly!) that along with God revealing to me how much of my life has been based on fear instead of trust in Him, He is also now showing me the way out of that: surrender.  

That word seems innocent enough, but it is SO powerful!  The induction not working is a picture to me of how often we try to force our own agendas, or plans, even if God's time is not yet.  No matter how much my sister wanted that baby to come out, and the doctors did this and that to force it, Penny just wasn't ready, so she didn't come yet!  I know I've done this so often in my own life, and yet somehow, no matter how impatient I am, God's timing always ends up perfect.  I'm the one that's always messing things up, and yet somehow I forget to rely on His perfection! Somehow I convince myself that I know best, or I let the fear of somehow missing out on one thing or another overtake me.  Then there are times when even though the waiting for His timing was hard or scary, through the power of the Holy Spirit, I managed to wait it out, and the end result was incredible, and beyond my asking or imagining.  I want those times to become more and more, and to be the ones that define my life, instead of the constant fear and doubt.

Thank You Daddy for continuing to shape me. Thank You for continually teaching me surrender.  Please forgive me for so often trying to take back control.  My life is Yours. Please strengthen me as I take steps after Jesus, and make the not easy choices so that my life brings glory to You alone.  I love You Daddy!

Longing for a Lasting City

James 4:14 - "You do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.  You are just a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."*

Hebrews 13:14 - "Here we do not have a lasting city, but we are seeking the city which is to come."

I think these verses may at least partially explain my nomadic tendencies... or anyone else's for that matter.

Or maybe that's just a cop out?  Do I say that so that I don't have to feel as bad about moving to a new place?  Maybe a little bit of both?  I think there is definitely a bit of both.  Who doesn't come up with ideas or "justifications" about what they're doing with their life?  I'm not trying to say it's all bad, or be pessimistic; these are just thoughts popping into my head.

God has been teaching me so much, and really rooting out fear in my life.  For so long I have talked a big talk about trusting God, but how much have I really lived it?  There are certainly times in my life I can look back on and see how I trusted God, and how of course He was faithful and provided whatever it was I needed.  However, God has really opened my eyes recently to see how much I have limited Him with my tiny amount of trust, and huge amount of fear!  If I truly believe I have the Holy Spirit living in me (which I do!), and therefore am able to live with the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the grave, then why do I constantly tell myself "I can't", "I could never", "oh not me!"?!  I can see how I've sabotaged myself by looking at my own (many!) weaknesses and imperfections, instead of looking at Jesus, and relying on His perfection and strength.

Another way I have let fear control me, is in the fear of failure.  I've been so filled with fear that I would make the wrong choice, pick the wrong path, or somehow completely destroy any plans God has for my life.  I'm so thankful He is so gracious, and has been showing me how selfish, and prideful that thinking can be in my life. Prideful because I try to think everything depends upon me, instead of Him!  That somehow, my created, finite, weak little self can somehow destroy the works of the Creator and Author of everything!  Selfish, because then I'm spending so much time thinking about myself, it's disgusting! It's such a huge relief to remember who God really is, and to know Him.  I can stop worrying about ruining everything, and walk along the life He has given me, trusting that it is in His hands!  Of course that doesn't mean I own my life, and do whatever I want. In fact, it's just the opposite.  My life belongs to the One who conquered fear on the cross.  "For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God"(Colossians 3:3). Only by letting Him live, in place of me, can I be assured that my steps will be directed, and my mess-ups corrected.

All that to say, I am sooooooooooooooooo excited to announce that God has provided a huge blessing to me in an opportunity to go back to The Home of God's Love in Taiwan!  All of the details aren't quite worked out yet, but it's finally happening! :)  It's looking like I will head over sometime in November.  The length of my stay is still undetermined.  It could be anywhere from a couple months, to six months, or who knows? I'm happy and relieved to say that God does!

Prayers please! Comments/questions/thoughts welcomed! Hugs always appreciated!





*That translation really says "vapor" instead of mist, but it basically means the same, and this way it goes with my blog title...and my name ;)