In 1 week from tonight I get to visit some family. The visit is shorter than I had first planned, but i am still so thankful for the blessing of getting to see my parents, and some of my siblings & nieces and nephews! It's just for a few days, and when i say few, i mean i fly in Thursday night, and fly out eaaaaarrrrrly Tuesday morning, but there's a lot of lovin getting squished into those 4ish days! Including, Lord willing, my newest niece, Penny!
My sister has not had the easiest pregnancy this time around (number 5!), but the end (beginning!) is finally coming. She actually went into the hospital to be induced 2 nights ago, but that baby just wasn't quite ready to come yet. I'm just praising God that both my sister and the baby are so far healthy! It's kinda funny to me (funny as in ironic, not funny haha. I feel so bad for my sister, because she wants this baby to come so badly!) that along with God revealing to me how much of my life has been based on fear instead of trust in Him, He is also now showing me the way out of that: surrender.
That word seems innocent enough, but it is SO powerful! The induction not working is a picture to me of how often we try to force our own agendas, or plans, even if God's time is not yet. No matter how much my sister wanted that baby to come out, and the doctors did this and that to force it, Penny just wasn't ready, so she didn't come yet! I know I've done this so often in my own life, and yet somehow, no matter how impatient I am, God's timing always ends up perfect. I'm the one that's always messing things up, and yet somehow I forget to rely on His perfection! Somehow I convince myself that I know best, or I let the fear of somehow missing out on one thing or another overtake me. Then there are times when even though the waiting for His timing was hard or scary, through the power of the Holy Spirit, I managed to wait it out, and the end result was incredible, and beyond my asking or imagining. I want those times to become more and more, and to be the ones that define my life, instead of the constant fear and doubt.
Thank You Daddy for continuing to shape me. Thank You for continually teaching me surrender. Please forgive me for so often trying to take back control. My life is Yours. Please strengthen me as I take steps after Jesus, and make the not easy choices so that my life brings glory to You alone. I love You Daddy!
